The Pastor’s Ass

The Pastor’s Ass

by | Aug 27, 2009

The Pastor’s Ass

The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again.

The local paper read:

PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day the local paper headline read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR’S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey.

The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted.

He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the paper read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to b uy back
the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

The Bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion
can bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life.

So be yourself and enjoy life.

Stop worrying about everyone else’s ass and you’ll be a lot happier
and live longer!

(I have no idea who wrote this – but I love it!)

[Find Happiness->home] Yet? How Do You Know?

by | Dec 17, 2007

On a scale on 1-10 (10 being deliriously happy) just how much do you feel happiness on a daily level?

We all understand happiness ebbs and flows, but some people are definitely more happy on average than others. This is fascinating and worth a look.

Another interesting question to ask is: What is the happiness level you would want to be averaging?

Once you have decided what is your optimum number, congratulations! You have now set a goal. How do you go about achieving it?

The most simple method is to look what one thing you could change that would make the most difference in your attitude. Work on that one thing.  If you believe you are unhappy because of a relationship, a job, where you live, your lifestyle… then pick one area that you feel could change you most and begin to do the things you know you have to do to change it!

I know you know what to do – because if there is something in your life that affects your happiness that much most likely you have spent a lot of time thinking about it. True or true?

If you have spent so much time thinking about it – why have you not begun to change it? The reason probably is that most of us dislike change, and it always seems to be easier to maintain current condition than face the unknown world of change.

That in itself can add to your frustration – and being less happy!

A couple of things to remember about happiness:

1. Happiness is feeling ‘good’ opposite feeling ‘bad’. One way to increase happiness is to follow the ‘good’ feelings and avoid the ‘bad feelings’. This is not rocket science but many overlook this simple technique. We tend to do things based on incorrect motivations. Instead of doing what you think others want you to do – do what you feel is good or right. Learn to smile when you are angry. Learn to laugh when you are sad.

2. Happiness is a choice. Unfortunately, there are no happiness stores no matter what the advertising leads you to believe. A new car will not make you happy for very long! Learn to choose to be happy.

3. Happiness is tied very closely to gratitude. Being grateful for everything we have opens the door to joy and happiness. Funny enough it also opens the door to plenty!

4. Let it go. We all tend to hold frustrations, anger, sadness, and other anti-happiness emotions for way too long. Realize the choice to hold these emotions are destructive to your happiness and learn to let them go.

So now, on a scale of 1-10 (10 being deliriously happy) – just how happy are you?

I am happy for you!