I wrote the book Be Do Have which is based on years of coaching people and understanding most of us are Doing something to Have stuff so we can Be happy. It is not working!
Here is an excerpt from Neil Donald Walsch and his Conversations With God book (which I highly recommend!
“GOD: Most people believe if they “have” a thing (more time, money, love — whatever), then they can finally “do” a thing (write a book, take up a hobby, go on vacation, buy a home, undertake a relationship), which will allow them to “be” a thing (happy, peaceful, content, or in love). In actuality, they are reversing the Be-Do-Have paradigm. In the universe as it really is (as opposed to how you think it is), “havingness” does not produce “beingness,” but the other way around.
First you “be” the thing called “happy” (or “knowing,” or “wise,” or “compassionate,” or whatever), then you start “doing” things from this place of beingness — and soon you discover
that what you are doing winds up bringing you the things you’ve always wanted to “have.”
The way to set this creative process (and that’s what this is…the process of creation) into motion is to look at what it is you want to “have,” ask yourself what you think you would “be” if you “had” that, then go right straight to being.
In this way you reverse the way you’ve been using the Be-Do-Have paradigm — in actuality, set it right — and work with, rather than against, the creative power of the universe.
Here is a short way of stating this principle:
In life, you do not have to do anything. It’s all a question of what you are being.”