by miami | Oct 9, 2006
Finding happiness can be a long search or a short one.
One of the most powerful lessons I continue to try and learn is this: If you want to know something, find out how from someone who has already paid the price to learn it!
I have lots and lots of scars from paying the costs of lessons much more easily learned by listening and learning from others.
In this online article Melanie T. Lim provides some very good lessons learned when searching for happiness in her life.
No matter how I tried, I realized I could never achieve perfection. I could come close to it but it could never be mine. And then one day, it just hit me—life didn’t have to be perfect for me to arrive at a place of perfection for myself. That’s how I found peace in my life.
Sun.Star Cebu – Lim: Looking for meaning
To find happiness in one’s life is an ongoing challenge, consciously dealt with on a day by day, minute by minute
basis. Finding happiness does not happen instantaneously or even overnight, nor is it neccesarily true that once you do find happiness is stays with you forever.
However – it is completely up to you how much stays with you and for how long.
Thanks Melanie for this reminder of happiness, and what it means. If you visit the site where this article is posted, you will also see that happiness is world wide challenge – one we all share – and can all be part
of.
I wonder. If we all searched for, and worked towards happiness, what would happen to the energy of the world? If it is so negative at the moment – then is it possible we would change that?
Absolutely!
If you are searching for happiness, please do not look too hard. Happiness is way too obvious to be found that way. Find someone who is at the stage of happiness you aspire to and ask them how they got there!
Be happy. Your choice.
What do you think?
Miami
technorati tags:find+happiness, finding+happiness, find+happiness+now, be+happy
by miami | Oct 7, 2006
We are talking about an email conversation with a former client turned friend who has given permission to use our exchange on finding happiness on the find happiness now blog.
If you haven’t read it, you might want to read the previous post to catch up.
One of his answers to the question of being focused (to be able to make progress) was this:
He said: So that I can earn a stable income and raise my self esteem back up to where it should be. This will pretty much eliminate my depression.
This was my comment back to him:
Here is my comment about self esteem, and this is almost the core of a lot that I do as a personal coach. What I hear you saying is that your ‘mood’ or happiness is tied to something other that internal. This is IMO a huge mistake and this is why. You will never be satisfied with outside measurement of success – only inside. Happiness, self worth – in fact any feelings must come from your own making and not be determined by outside influence.
I believe with all my heart that you can and will get this sooner or later. This was THE lesson that turned the corner for me after we had moved here(1999). I was absolutely broke, I had declared bankruptcy, lost $35,000 in savings, and knew no one at all. I didn’t have enough money to get into a place to live. All I could think was “what was wrong with me?” With some coaching help, one day I got it. And it really wasn’t just one day – it was over time looking back.
You can do it too. It is simply a mind thing. And you are a hell of a lot smarter than I am. You just want to analyze it – just like you used to do with everything we discussed when we coached.
Well THAT exchange set him off.
He wrote (he has lately taken up meditation):
“simply a mind thing”, a tad of an understatement. I will whip this, but I had 27 years of the wrong habits and thoughts. I think it is unrealistic to expect an instant fix. 18 months ago I wasn’t sure I would even survive, that’s how bad the depression was. Analyzing your thoughts and understanding them is what Buddhism is largely about! And I defy anyone but an actual Buddha to be happy and complete with absolutely no income in modern society. I have no desire to be a monk.
And my answer:
I have trouble with your statement because it seems you are equating happiness with income. Income can certainly make you more comfortable – but happy? I don’t think so. Just my opinion from personal experience (as you know I have and have not had money in my life) and from being intimately involved in coaching over many people – lots of them having issues around this same subject. This is the experience that gave the content for the book. (BeDoHave -Find Happiness Now)
And finally another exchange we had I hope might shed some light for you as well: We were discussing what exactly he was going to do. (Accountability)
He said:
I plan on hitting it again this week with a lot of time and effort.
I wrote back:
So – if I may ask – what exactly is your plan? Have we ever talked about tribes? Ask me sometime. Consider this: we move at the speed of the tribe we are connected to, and invested in.
For instance: the’tribe’ called society moves very slowly. Yes?
the tribe called the church moves faster but still slowly.
the tribe called the “Phillips” moves very fast in relation to these two.
the tribe called “Miami’ moves at light speed.
I believe with all my heart I have the ability to change instantly. Does it work all the time? Obviously not. What tribes are you invested in? Just curious.
I sincerely hope you have benefited from these excerpts of a conversation. If you have something you would like to say – we would love to hear it!
Email me at miami@bedohaveu.com or leave a comment here on the blog.And don’t worry – be happy!
Miami
technorati tags:happiness, find+happiness, finding+happiness, tribe, focus, vision
by miami | Oct 4, 2006
Last post I talked about a former coaching client who was has being going through some challenging issues in his life and is willing to share with you. Finding happiness is not an easy thing.
I believe if you try too hard to find happiness it eludes you.
Not too long again I challenged him (let’s call him Steve) to do something to help him move out of his own way.
Steve had shared he thought his main challenge was getting focused.
Here is what I challenged him to do. Answer three simple questions.
1. Why do you want to be focused?
2. When do you want to get focused?
3. What is standing in your way of being focused? What would it take to get focused?
Here was his answers:
1. So that I can earn a stable income and raise my self esteem back up to where it
should be. This will pretty much eliminate my depression.
2. Immediately
3. I left this one for last because I don’t know the answer. Maybe coming up with something (like a baseball bat on the head every
morning) to remind me first thing every morning would help. I have been getting
to the gym every day for a while now. I do know that I feel more energized when
I exercise regularly. I think that perhaps starting earlier every day with the
gym routine may be useful. I seem to have problems with mornings and getting
started and the exercise helps. I also need to follow your advice and make more
time for myself and do a little less for others. Helping other people is a good
thing but it can also be excessively time consuming.
Interesting hmmmm?
I want your comments on this. Do you relate to this? What would be your answers? What do you think of these answers?
Stay tuned as tomorrow I will share with you what I told him. Put it this way – he wasn’t a real happy camper!
Miami
technorati tags:find+happiness, finding+happiness
by miami | Oct 3, 2006
It’s been quite the week around here.
On Saturday I found out ALL the blog posts were going to everybody who had signed up for the article list. Although in my opinion my writings are interesting reading, I can write a lot!
So some folks were a bit put off when they got something from me every day! In fact sometimes I post more than once a day!
It took me until Monday to get hold of tech people who walked me through what I had to do and then another couple of hours to get it done. Now just you who want to be notified are notified.
And then:
If you have not been following along, we have a small horse ranch in Dallas Ga (outside Atlanta at www.highcountrystables.com) that we have been building for three years.
I have just completed building a big barn with a conference facility and 1 BR apt over it. Someone rented the apt and moved in Monday so I have been a bit busy taking care of last minute finishing touches (like HVAC!)
But I am back. And eager to finish this story of my client.
But first.. One of the blogs I get in my inbox is from John Carlton who spoke at the Underachievers conference in San Diego. He has a great post today on what is really important in his life. I highly recommend reading it!
Money will solve problems that not having money creates — like paying the rent, keeping sharks at bay, indulging in toys and extragavance. Being broke sucks. But once you still have a few bucks in your pocket after taking care of all your needs, having even one more dollar ain’t gonna change anything for you on any meaningful level.
John Carlton’s Big Damn Blog » Blog Archive » Squandering Free Time
In fact, I think so much if his post I am going to ask you to go read that one and I will finish my story tomorrow.
ps I got a call today asking me to speak to the freshman class at one of the local high schools about choices creating your life. It is something I know about and am tickled to be asked.
Namaste’
Miami
technorati tags:happiness, find+happiness, broke, John+Carlton, Underachievers, create+your+life
